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Living on your own for the first time – how it’s really like

Living on your own always sounds exciting and awesome for those, who never did this before. As if it was an adventurous part in the lives of people; not granted for everyone. When I was in the Netherlands, I had to live on my own as well. I wasn’t with my family, I couldn’d be. Since they were in Germany, and I didn’t have any relatives or friends in this foreign land, there was no choice but move out and live alone.

Even I was excited and amazed by the possibility to move out already. To have my own apartment, my own rules. Everything mine; only my belonging. You know, when they talk about phases of getting used to something new? One of them is the Honeymoon phase, in which everything seems perfect and awesome and just how it should be.

After that, there is the crisis. In which you see the disadvantages of all this. While I had to study for my classes, I had to do the laundry, I had to cook, wash the dishes by hand because we had no dish cleaner. I had no possibility to use any public transport or my car, as I was used to it. Everywhere I went, I went by bike. And just imagine how it is like to carry the groceries on a bike. Or not come late to class when you overslept. I got frustrated and I missed my family, which just made it worse. The fact I was in a land in which I wasn’t able to speak the language either, made it even much worse.

But to be honest – I would never give away the experience. The thing is, although I had many problems with living alone, I learned a lot. The fact that I began appreciating the time I had with my family is one of those. Because when I sometimes went home on the weekends, I wasn’t sure if I should be happy about seeing them or if I should be sad because I had to leave the day after. And in those moments you begin giving so much more value to the time you spend together. Every second gets valuable. And every person.

Yes, I had problems with maintaining a good daily routine. Waking up. Praying and getting ready. Preparing food. Eating the food. Cleaning the dishes. And leaving early enough to not be late for classes. And eventhough I had problems with that in the first time, I not only did get used to the daily routine, but rather be happy about the continued order of my daily tasks without getting overwhelmed. Coming home, picking up some groceries from the store on the way back home – because carrying them all at once would not go well. Showering. Preparing food, eating food. Doing some stuff for Uni and then whatever I wanted.

Living on your own is an adventure, yes. But it is nothing like you’ve ever expected. Cleaning, cooking, self-care, university, friends, and so on. Everything will be yours, and yours only. There will be no one who will take over some tasks so you can chill a bit. Eventually, you’ll find some helping hands, but at the end of the day, the responsibility is yours.

It may sound scary, and I can assure you, it will be frustrating the first few days and weeks. But shall I say something? This experience shall be made by everyone, because it trains you for the real life. You won’t always be in company of people who can help you whenever you need some time to breath through. But through gaining this experience you learn so many different and valuable things.

It is okay to not feel like doing anything at all. It is okay to reschedule some work of yours, concerning whatever. It is okay to feel overwhelmed and ask for help. It is okay, okay, okay. We all experience some things for the first time, so it is okay to not be okay with everything from the beginning. How should we grow otherwise?

Living on your own for the first time - how it's really like - Post by N. Hilâl on
Signature of N. Hilal from Selîhâl