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Accept the things you cannot change


To accept things may be the most difficult action to do. We tend to insist on our opinions and on our thoughts. And when people with another mindset come around, we hardly accept what they are saying.

That’s not the only situation in which people have to accept the conditions. Sometimes, life exposes us to situations in which we are barely able to change or have an influence on something.

It could be daily situations like the traffic or the defect coffee machine. The result: We’re annoyed. And when we’re already in a bad mood, this one’s gonna be the worst that could’ve happened this day. Actually, we give these unchangeable situations the control over this particular time of our life.

Why do we do this?

Humans tend to react instinctively. No matter what. For example: If somebody is running towards you and screams: “RUN”, what would you do? Exactly, you would react and do what he told you to do. You wouldn’t think about it twice, because “running” in this situation seems to be the only right action. In comparison to these persons, there are also other human beings who rather want to check the situation themselves. They risk forgoing the chance of running away and escaping a potential danger but in the end, they have the freedom to consider which reaction would be right for themselves. The keywords: Instinctive and rational.

Now, try to use these two words in another situation. One, you cannot change. What makes more sense? I mean, if you’re going to complain, okay. Go for it. And if not, even better. Because no matter how you react, the situation won’t change. The traffic will still be bad and the coffee machine will still be broken.

Now, try to visualize: You react instinctively and begin raging, begin insulting and let this situation control your mood. What do you gain except for being bad-tempered? Literally nothing. And now try to visualize the complete opposite: You react rationally. You accept this given situation and learn to be patient. It’s not going to be the end of the world. In no situation. Whether it is the broken coffee machine or your broken heart. There ARE these unchangeable situations. Often, they’re nothing but saddening and maddening. It can drive you crazy and it will if you give it the chance to do so.

Accept it. Easier said than done.

“You may not able to control every situation and its outcome, but you can control your attitude and how you deal with it.” The person who said these wise words had the knack of it. You are your own master and you have the control over everything you do. If you want to react calmly to a situation then do it. You will have a less bad mood and you can proudly move on.

The feelings of the other person won’t change by insulting them. The TV’s not going to work just by hitting it. Your employer won’t give you a higher wage by screaming at him. These situations won’t change the moment you decide to get mad. They can change in the future, by e.g. being nicer, calling an engineer or working harder, but the very moment you “get” the bad message, you have to accept it one way or another.

Sometimes, a deep breath, a decent smile and a clear mind will help you going through this situation and escaping it without a bad mood. Your brain is stronger than you think. Not for nothing did Roy Conli say: “The mind is the greatest weapon in the world.”

Signature of N. Hilal from Selîhâl