Dependency is shown in so many ways, in so many situations. Unlike people who are diagnosed with the dependent personality disorder (which is indeed a mental illness), others, who are not, can be too dependent on others, too. Be it the opinion of your mother or the money. You are, in one way or another dependent on people or things. Dependency does not have to be negative. In general, it is more likely to be neutral. But, when it comes to an overdose, this can and will end in damage. One of the most common examples: The dependency on other people.
I never heard of the dependent personality disorder before. I just thought: Hey, this one post of dpsuggestion could be interesting to write about. He or she must have some serious problems. I never expected them to be this serious, because being diagnosed with a disorder… I really don’t know what to say. Anyway, apart from the fact that this is clearly something else, I just wanted to write about it; Because I think that there ARE people out in the world, who feel similar to this blogger.
As I said before, being dependent does not have to be negative. It can be used in a neutral way, like saying: “This child is dependent on his parents because he can’t look after himself.” Or it can only be used in the sentence: “I’m dependent on this job because otherwise, I would lose the only money source I have.” You see? Dependency is neither negative nor positive in these sentences. It just a fact. It is just how it is.
On the other side, dependency can mean destruction. It can mean damage and to lose yourself. Dependency can mean sadness and depression, even if you do not suffer from the specific mental illness. People tend to cling to people. You like someone, or you are attracted to someone and then, the fear of losing them overcomes you. It’s nothing, you can control because of the way you think about yourself. I can assuredly say that people with self-doubt are more likely to be dependent on people than others. This kind of people thinks that they do not have enough value. That there are people who are better than them and that their beloved one will sooner of later leave them just to be with the “better” person.
At the end of the day, both are sad and hurt. The dependent one thinks that he/she is not worth the love. The other person will think that the dependent one does not have any trust in him. And, as you can see, this is a topic spread all over the internet. So many people are familiar with this situation, and if you are not directly affected, then you surely know somebody, who is.
For a matter of a fact, you, an outsider, somebody who’s watching from the sidelines, are not able to change something. The crucial point has to be found by the dependent person. He or she has to search for it, find it and change it. And to be successful, the roots have to be eliminated. People do not notice that being dependent on others is destructive. Your emotions, your day and everything in between are dominated by the person, you are dependent on. Do this person have a bad day? You will, too; even if there is no personal reason for it. Do you like bananas, but the other one not? You will stop eating them. Everything depends on the other person and this way, you begin to lose yourself and your identity.
Changing it is not easy. And you will think that you are lost, the moment you break away from this dependency. But as soon as you get to know yourself, everything will change.
You will be your own boss and you will be happy. From this moment forth, you will be you. You will no longer be the other one’s shadow.